Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
