I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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