he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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