just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize