Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
