i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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