the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize