It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
