just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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