yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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