then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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