i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
