I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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