Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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