you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
