Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
