she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
my liver is dry heaving
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
