She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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