i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
COCAINE IS GR8
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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