The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
