Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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