I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
