C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im holly from the hills drunk
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
