his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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