So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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