We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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