you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
