the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
