She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
