We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize