What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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