It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
