you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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