Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
People in love make me want to vomit
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize