I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
