If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
All the doctor said was why
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
