You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
