Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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