I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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