No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
