After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize