I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize