she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
