ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize