Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
