I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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