Taylor Swift is so right about you.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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