This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize