woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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