I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
