Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
