It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
