so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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