i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
