Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
