You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
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I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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