bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
